A day in South Park high school
by goldenxdinosaur
Summary: Its about how it would be like having first period with our south park red necks this is a story i wrote a year ago and i just edited it so tell me if you like it.
1. First Period

So yeah this is not my first story….I deleted the last one cause I was like ashamed of it . but this story has been in my ipod for a couple months and I wanted to know what people think of it….*cough* I don't own shat so STFU and don't sue meh pwease = w =

**P.S.- I am not a good writer so all you judgmental assholes can blow me -_- but for the people that are giving me advice on what to fix then thanks I appreciate it….so the point is its not gonna be good like the other stories you've read here in fanfiction. That is all I would like to say before I post this one-shot (:**

P.S.S.S…S – I edited this bitch so there shouldn't be any mistakes…But um this might not be a one shit u , I might continue it if I feels like it **J**

* * *

I opened my eyes and groaned at the fucking alarm clock that just has  
to wake me up to school every morning.

I threw the covers off of me and walked into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed, "great, another day were I have to face the coldness of this town and my teachers". I took off my clothes and got in the shower and let myself fall deep in thought.

• After I took a shower•

I put on what I usually wear which is a pair of gray skinny jeans, a tight long sleeved black shirt, black boots and my black hat with two strings on the side with my hair curled on the tips a bit. I slung my book bag over my shoulder and ran downstairs to be greeted by a complaint from my dear old mother, "There you go again, late for school as always you pathetic idiotic child. If you stopped reading all those damn stories in fanfiction you wouldn't wake up looking like shit."

I groaned in annoyance and yelled," ahhh shut up I hear you complain about the same crap for 14 years. Don't you think it's time to complain about something else?", she took out her old hard slipper and chased me out the house. "Go on and get you little good for nothing bitch" yelled the demon that birthed me.

I looked at the time, 9:10. Fuck, ten minutes late to school. I dashed to my school.

* * *

• After running 5 blocks -_- •

* * *

I stopped in front of my broken down school, out of breath. The security guard greeted me and said, "The usual?" , I nod and he hands me my daily orange juice and bags of weed. I smile in pleasure and say, "Thanks jeff if it wasn't for that bet we made I wouldn't be able to get a bag of these healthy plants". He rolls his eyes and trys to hide the smile that's forming on his lips and says, "Jesus, get to class alexis". I laugh and give him a wink before running to class.

I enter my classroom and see the usual shit. The goths smoking by the window in the back corner, the nerds sitting in the front, the girls gossiping about useless crap and my friends making the most noise in the back.  
The guys noticed me and all I heard were shouts of, "hey bitch", "Alexis!", "Sup slut", "GTFO". |  
I walked up to them and said, "hai assholes".

"Where the hell were you on Saturday you missed tokens party dude. Even your boyfriend went and he's a buzz kill!" Kenny said with a grin on his face. Ever since we entered high school he got more social…and sexual. He also took off that big ass coat that always covered his mouth so we could hear him much better now.

"Kenny token has parties every Saturday and I've been going to all of them but I just wanted to deal with my homework and my mom's bullshit this week. Oh and Craig isn't a buzz kill he's just has his days" I said as I sit down on my desk.

"She is right kenneh and tokens parties are usually full of ass fuckers like  
Kyle & Stan." said Cartmen.

Kyle's face turned red and he clenched his fists and said, "Shut the fuck up fat ass your just saying that because he never invites your nazi supporting ass to his party"

"AYE-"

I Groaned and rolled my eyes at the repetitive meaning less argument that is about to come. I looked over at Kenny and said "Soooo did you get to bang the living shit out  
of anyone?" He always manages to fuck someone every party token has, male or female.

"Of Course I did and the best part is that he was a virgin, guess who it was" I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off." it was butters."

"Aww dude what the hell, butters is so innocent and I told you he's off limits." I said glaring at him. 'Goddammit that fucking man whore. No wonder butters isn't in school he's probably scarred from Saturday night…I should've known who it was since butters WAS the only virgin in south park. Maybe I should stop by his house after school to see if he's okay'.

Kenny laughed and said he was 'sorry'. Yeah sorry that he's about to  
get his ass kicked. But luck was on his side because Mr. Garrison came in the room. He came in stumbling with a bottle of grey goose in his hand. He looked at all of us with disgust and yelled, "EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STUDY".

Everyone stopped their conversations and sat in their seats. Me and the guys were snickering at Mr. Garrison trying to write something on the board. 'I bet his boyfriend broke up with him again'. I look at the board and tried to read what the hell he wrote. It said read pages 144-155 in your hard covered text book.

I placed my text book on my desk. 'page 123….134...14- Ouch what the fuck? who the  
fuck through this paper at me?' I glared at the crumpled up paper and opened it. In a sloppy handwriting it said,

Text me babe ;)

-Craig-

Before I took out my phone I checked to see if Mr. Garrison had passed out from all the vodka he drank. Yup. I went into my messages and started texting my pain in the ass boyfriend.

* * *

• Le conversation•

* * *

Me: What is it metal mouth? :P

Craig: Hey! -_- , I'm bored entertain me baby ;(

Me: Im your girlfriend not a toy and you hit me with paper you ass ;T  
Btw when did you get in the classroom I didn't see you.

Craig: Oh I came in through the window in the back & boo hoo cry me a river, now quit your whining and watch your mouth :I

Me: .I. suck my dick ._.

Craig: I love you too. Btw Did you know that a girls clit is an unformed penis? So yes I will suck your clit hard ;D

Me: ….That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard and how the fuck do you know this? o . o

Craig:….I do my research. Enough chit chat, flash me your boobs for me hun and ill give you $10 :)

Me: mkay ill do it.

Craig: fuck yessss

* * *

•end of conversation•

* * *

I turn around flip Craig off and through the paper at his face. God he is so lucky he's my boyfriend and hot because If he wasn't I would've smacked the braces out of his mouth. I spent the rest of the period throwing wet paper balls at bebe and wendy with Kenny and craig.

Riiinnnggg

Yes the bell rang. Time for chorus with Kenny, kyle & stan. I get up and while im packing my things, craig kisses me and whispers in my ear "see you later". He smirks and leaves to his next class with token and tweak. I roll my eyes and wait by the door for the guys.

* * *

That's how first period would be like with the south park red necks :D  
Hope you enjoyed.  
Please comment and tell me what you think J


	2. Period 2: Chorus

**Authors note- **haii I've decided to write chapter 2 for this story ^_^ i hope you enjoy :D

The guys come out and we head to the janitors closet. We all look at each other with the straightest face's for a minute. Kenny looks at me and asks,"you got the stuff?". I dig deep and my book bag and take out the bag of rolled up blunts." Oh i have it but are you sure you can handel it?" I say while taking out the wraps. I pass kenny, stan and kyle their own blunt and lighters.

"Awwwwwww yeah time to get cray zay", Kyle said with a grin on his face. We all rolled our blunts and smoked away.

__20 minutes later__

Kenny and I headed to chorus while Stan and Kyle go to gym. We stumble through the hallways while laughing our ass's off. I wonder how this all happened, I mean the smoking thing. It's so strange how just yesterday I was a goody two shoes who didn't talk back to my mother. Was it because I finally got tired of being pushed around by my own family? Or was it when I was sent to juvie and finally got a taste of the real world? I look at Kenny's flushed face and smile at how he turned out too. I'm glad he came out of his shell and became...a man whore.

'What the hell am I thinking? I sound like some nostalgic loser'. I rolled my eyes at the abuse I gave myself. I nudged Kenny and told him to be serious. As I opened the door I heard Ms. chokesondik was singing This Christmas by Chris Brown with the whole class. I scanned the room and half of the class was singing, except for Tweak who is twitching and eagerly sipping his coffee cup that never seems to finish. We almost got away with coming in late...but Kenny had to burst out singing Face down Ass up.

I cursed Kenny in ten different languages and faced my teacher's hard glare.

I cringed at her nipples popping out of her shirt as she raised her hand to scream at us. "KENNY MCCORMICK AND ALEXIS QUITO, Where were you two for the past 20 minutes?" Ms. Chokesondik yelled.

We both stared out her with glossy eyes for god knows how long and all we could say in union was,"...Dude what..." The whole class burst into laughter knowing exactly why we were late. Kenny and I tried to stifle our giggles as Ms. Chokesondik tried to calm everyone down. She looked at everyone, including us, and yelled," YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? WELL LETS SEE IF YOU THINK THIS IS STILL FUNNY WHILE YOU WRITE A FIVE PAGE ESSAY ON HOW BEAUIFUL I AM".

Everyone in class let out an aggravated groan and glared at Kenny and I. "God this essay would be easy if she was actually okay to look at, fucking cunt", I mumbled under my breath. I think she heard me anyways because she sent me to the principal's office.

__In the principal's office__

Principal Victoria rolled her eyes at the sight of us two once again. We've been in her office so many times for stupid reasons that I lost count. Kenny walked over to her book self and started talking to the books...Jesus Christ Jeff gave me some strong shit today.

Blondie started to open her mouth but I stopped her and said," Why don't we skip your little 'threatening speech' and cut to the punishments. I'm tired of hearing complaints from teachers that got their teaching degree from some guy in the corner of our school who sells crack. They're mindless idiots who should just quit there pathetic excuse of a life". My eyes widened in surprise at my outburst. Jesus Christ I just acted like a boy whose testicles finally dropped.

"Oh my...well I am sorry you feel that way Alexis but...", Principal Victoria stopped in mid-sentence to look over at Kenny who is laughing like a maniac at a book called 'Quack is wack'.

"uhm Kenny are you okay?", principal Victoria says with a nervous look on her face. Kenny rips the magazine into little pieces and starts eating it. Kenny jumps on her desk and yells, "I LOVE QUACK". He lets out the biggest fart that you can hear his ass cheeks clap. I try to hide the smile that's forming on my lips as the principal tries to get Kenny off her desk.

After watching her struggle trying to get Kenny down I decide to be nice enough to help her out. I shoved her outta the way and threw Kenny on the floor. I grabbed his neck and put pressure on his medulla oblongata so he can knock out for a few minutes. In the corner of my eyes I see the principal look at me in horror. I raise my eyebrow at her as in saying what?

She clears her throat and says, "Well uhm the bells about to ring for your next class so I'll just keep it short. I give you and Kenny four hours in detention after school for the next two days". I let out a breath of relief and wonder why it's not as bad as it should be but hey, I'm not complaining.

**RIINNNNNGGG.**

I nod towards Principal Victoria and proceed to head out until Kenny awoke from his knock out. He went into a fit of giggles like a girl in a Mandingo party and rolled out of her office. I laughed at all the stares we were getting in the hallway as Kenny proceeded to attempt to roll to his class.

I start to drag myself to English. Don't get me wrong, it's my favorite class but the bitches in the class what ruins it. I can't wait to have yet another argument with Wendy and her herd of birds. Oh joy.

So how did you like it? Review and tell me the pros and cons :)


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